10 ways to annoy
by L Moony Hybrid Malfoy Marauder
Summary: Each chapter holds ten to use on a character. 50 different ways!
1. Chapter 1 - Ron Weasley

**10 ways to annoy Ron Weasley**

**I found some of these on other fanfics so bear with!**

"Weasley Is Our King"- the Slytherin version, of course, off key in the middle of the Great Hall.

Tell him that Hermione doesn't want Lavender's sloppy seconds.

Tell him Emerson's considering making a move on Hermione, then look sympathetic and explain that you understand why he's threatened, Emerson's so... so...*dreamy sigh*

Depending on how badly he takes it and how funny you think it is, repeat number 3 with Harry/Draco/Dean/Michael Corner/Lockhart/McLaggen/Crabbe/Goyle/Snape/Sirius /any random boy or girl from Hogwarts, every few hours.

Ask him if he's sad that he was the baby his parents wanted to be a girl...

Handwrite a smutty Dramione fanfiction from Hermione's point of view, and scatter various pages anywhere you think he'll stumble across them... Fred/Hermione/George could work just as well, as could Harry/Hermione. Or, even better, Harry/Hermione/Draco!

Give him a big, fluffy maroon spider and a special packet of all-corned-beef-flavour Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans for his birthday.

"You know, I never realized, but apparently it was Lavender who dumped him. He shouted out 'Draco' in the middle of sex..."

Send him a Howler ostensibly from his Auntie Muriel berating him for stealing her clothes and informing him he will pay for those high heels he stretched out with his enormous feet!

Slip some Veritaserum in his pumpkin juice and ask him, at the breakfast table, what he really thinks of Snape/Hermione/Lavender etc. Make sure everyone hears this. Use a Sonorous Charm if you have to.

**I am only doing 10 each chapter!**


	2. Chapter 2 - Sirius Black

**10 Ways to Annoy Sirius Black**

**As requested. My favourite is number 6**

Whenever someone asks, "Are you serious?" Laugh loudly and point at him.

Constantly question him of his days in Azkaban. Ask him stupid things like, "Did they let you eat cake?" and "How often did they wash your underwear?"

Stand up on a table during Order meetings and yell, "Sirius Black: Escaped Azkaban, Eluded hundreds of Dementors. Killed by drapery."

Unleash Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes pranks on him whenever you feel the urge to.

Make sure you tell him how great Peter is, and how much cooler 'Wormtail' sounds than 'Padfoot'. Do this daily.

Wake him up at four in the morning to give him a pamphlet for 'Sex Addicts Anonymous'. And then say, "Well… since you're up…" before giving him every detail about your dream the previous night, including the time where you dreamt he turned into a girl.

Put a large stuffed dog in his bedroom.

Buy him a flea collar, leash and a squeaky dog toy.

Randomly yell, "Sit!" at him and act as though you're trying to teach him something. Be persistent, don't give up.

Hit on the portrait of his mother. Make sure he sees you. As you walk away, loudly hum, "Siri's mum has got it going on! She's all I want, and I've waited for soo long!"


	3. Chapter 3 - A Hermione-loving Draco

**10 Ways to Annoy a Hermione-loving Draco Malfoy**

Ask him whether it makes him mad that Ron Weasley has what he can't have, Hermione - and tell him there's a great place in Knockturn Alley that'll give you hair like his for free!

Say his teasing of Hermione is obviously a sign of sexual tension. It's the classic "Little boy pulls the girl's pigtails because he likes her" syndrome, isn't it?

Say the same about him and Harry!

Use Polyjuice Potion to turn into him, and then run round screaming "Harry! I know we promised to keep this a secret, but I still love you! I'll always love you!" Do this all day.

Do the same, but run round giving all the Muggle-Born Hufflepuff/Gryffindor/Ravenclaw girls flowers. A few of the boys, too, if it strikes your fancy.

Do the same, but strip naked and handcuff yourself to Snape's desk. (Not for the faint hearted)

At Christmas, bewitch a piece of mistletoe to float above him wherever he goes- and tell Romilda Vane and Pansy Parkinson.

Read Draco/Harry slash fanfiction to him. Incessantly. In front of everyone in the Slytherin common room.

Tell him you've always had a fondness for Harry/Ron/Draco slash- then show him the videos on YouTube.

Tell him Hermione will never want a ferret when she can have a weasel, weasel's have bigger equipment!


	4. Chapter 4 - Hermione Granger

**10 Ways to Annoy Hermione Granger**

**As requested by averageteenagegirl101, a good friend.**

Make L.K.H.E. club, "Let's Kill House Elves"

Discuss S.P.E.W. but keep saying "spew" instead

Switch her homework

Tell Draco that Hermione loves him (He will be following her more constantly!)

Charm her Gryffindor clothes so they change to Slytherin ones and everyone but her can see it but her (Of course!)

Secretly get her engaged/married to Draco

Give her a tape-recording of nothing but the name Fleur on it repeating over and over again

Repeat with Lavender saying Won-Won, or Pansy saying Drakey.

Attach pictures of Gilderoy Lockhart on all of her belongings

Make sure that Proffessor Trewlenary teaches all of her classess (except Potions)


	5. Chapter 5 - Severus Snape

**10 Ways to Annoy Severus Snape**

**I have now got 7 reviews!**

Slip an "Erection Enabler" potion into Snape's satchel and then, right in the middle of a staff meeting, charm the bag so it rips and the entire staff finds out about Snape's little...problem.

Post him James and Lily pictures, videos, items, etc.

Make him watch A Very Potter Musical.

Ask, "What the devil is going on here?"

Charm his clothes so they turn pink but everyone can see it except him

Tell him McGonagall was always a better teacher then him even as a cat.

FORCE him to watch the Teletubbies three-hour marathon!

Use Polyjuice Potion to turn into Lily. Slap him and say that you liked James better.

If you're feeling really evil, tell him you liked Dumbledore better than either of them.

Dye his hair so it has pink stripes that can't be removed.


End file.
